Twist in Sedgefield killing: Victim was Narcotics Anonymous Sponsor
Killing of Charlotte Narcotics Anonymous Sponsor raises fears among local sponsors
Friends say man arrested in murder had been sponsored by the victim
By Cleve R. Wootson Jr.
cwootson@charlotteobserver.com
Posted: Tuesday, Jan -29, 2013-Jan. 31, 2013
The man accused of killing Charles Middleton at his south Charlotte home Saturday morning was a man he’d sponsored while involved in a Narcotics Anonymous program years ago, people close to the situation say.
The disclosure has heightened fears about the potential dangers of sponsorship relationships among recovering addicts in the Charlotte area.
On Monday, Christopher Paul Huffman was taken into custody in Casa Grande, Ariz., more than 2,000 miles from the scene of the shooting on Elmhurst Road in the Sedgefield neighborhood adjacent to Dilworth.
Charlotte-Mecklenburg homicide detectives traveled to Arizona on Monday to interview Huffman, who had no criminal record. Police have not divulged a possible motive in the killing or said whether Middleton’s sponsorship work with Huffman made him a target.
But for people involved in 12-step programs, the link spurred wariness and fear.
“It is almost a sacred thing. These are people who so freely give of themselves,” said a Narcotics Anonymous member who declined to give his name because the association frowns on speaking to the press. “How do they know that the people who we are trying to help are not going to do us harm?”
‘A gut instinct’
For recovering addicts, sponsorship is a complicated, but close relationship. A sponsor helps a person navigate some of the harder steps of recovery: making amends to people who’ve been harmed, conducting what Narcotics Anonymous calls “a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves,” and sharing a story of addiction with others.
But members say there are few solid rules about sponsorship in the global organization, which says it holds 61,800 weekly meetings in 129 countries. While members encourage frankness on the path to recovery, the organization is often tight-lipped with outsiders and the media about the details of sponsorship.
In a three-page pamphlet on sponsorship, the Narcotics Anonymous organization recommends frequent communication, and discourages romantic entanglements. But it’s unclear if the organization offers sponsors advice on how to protect themselves from the ill effects of another person’s addiction.
One recovering addict in Charlotte said members are especially wary at open meetings, which involve people from all walks of life and often from unknown backgrounds.
“We’re not supposed to judge, but this is the real world,” she said. “If somebody’s making me feel uncomfortable, either I’m going to say something or I’m going or leave.”
She said there aren’t many written rules about sponsorships, but experienced sponsors encourage people to be cautious.
“It really has to be a gut instinct and you say to yourself that you’re not going to have them come to your house, you’ll meet them at Starbucks, some place public. It’s a huge deal, because people just come in off the street. We have people from jails, institutions.”
William White, a Florida researcher who’s written about the history of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous programs, said it’s unlikely that one incident will spark widespread change.
“Anytime something like this breaks publicly, there’s a period of soul searching in organizations like this in general,” White said. “Safety is not an issue that comes up across the board except in the aftermath.”
A person who answered the phone at the Metrolina Intergroup Association, a conglomeration of recovery groups in the Charlotte area, declined to comment about the relationship between Middleton and Huffman or sponsorship relationships generally.
“We have a tradition that we maintain our anonymity at the press level,” the woman said. Public relations officials with the national Narcotics Anonymous office in Van Nuys, Calif., did not return calls seeking comment.
A willing helper
It’s unclear how many people Middleton sponsored in his two decades with 12-step programs in Charlotte. He was one of the longest-tenured members of his weekly meeting group, which was made up of gay men who are also recovering addicts, friends said.
Middleton took leadership roles and engaged other members, chatting over coffee before the meetings or at dinner afterward. He asked people to call him “Mike,” an abbreviation of his middle name. He freely doled out his cell phone number, friends said.
He was semi-retired but still worked part time in credit and collections. He doted on his two cats and had also recently started taking theater appreciation classes at Central Piedmont Community College. Middleton and his friends regularly bought season tickets to plays at the college.
Details of the interactions between Middleton and Huffman were still hazy on Tuesday. Two people who knew Middleton – both of whom asked for anonymity – say the two men met at a 12-step meeting about four years ago. At some point, Huffman asked Middleton to sponsor him. For a while in 2008, they both lived a few doors down from each other on Ardmore Road in Sedgefield.
But their interactions over the next four years are unclear.
“We don’t know why and we don’t know the story behind what happened,” said a Narcotics Anonymous member. “We do know Mike has sponsored and helped a lot of people. … He’d extend his hand to a total stranger at times.”
Staff researcher Maria David and Staff Writers Andrew Dunn and Elisabeth Arriero contributed.
Wootson: 704-358-5046; Twitter: @CleveWootson
Read More and also see picture of victim and pictures of crime scene and video clip-
NA DAYTONA
ARE YOU SAFE IN AA or NA? NO WAY! NATURAL ACCOUNTABILITY
I started going to NA in 2016. I would go so far as to say that at the time they saved my life. I couldn’t stop on my own. I didn’t buy in though to the “we only keep what we have by giving it away” and working 12 steps over and over AND BEING STUCK THERE FOREVER like a cult no matter how much clean time. Funny story is I didn’t realize that the place I chose was the same place that my Mom had attended when I was a child. Turns out it’s where she met a sexual predator who molested me when I was a child. I hadn’t recognized it bc of remodeling. But later I started to recognize some things and then found names on the wall of the predator my Mom met there and his friends. Called my Mom… Sure enough, same place. Before long I realized how many predators are there and people sleeping around. I took a lot away from the literature and it was amazing emotional support. However, they were supposed to be working on spiritual principals, and I found many of them had none, cheated on their spouses, etc. finally I witnessed a fight break out in a meeting and that was it. I didn’t feel safe. I left the fellowship. My previous sponsor was just murdered by another member who has been attending and relapsing for years. They relapsed together and he murdered her, and it was horrific and violent on 1-23-21 DFW TX. There is 1 news source being honest, you can search it. She had over a decade clean when she relapsed with the man who killed her. I’m totally devistated and having to seek professional help. She was one of the nicest people I have known and we shared a lot during my fellowship. People need to know. It’s just not the place you think it is. A lot hidden. Don’t get me wrong, they do save many lives, they saved mine and I’m grateful. But it’s not a safe place and DO NOT BRING PEOPLE TO YOUR HOME OR TAKE CHILDREN THERE AS IS SOMETIMES DONE. I don’t want to dishonor my previous sponsor bc I know she would have continued to serve (she sponsored too many to count) even had she known how she would meet her end. She was that devoted to giving back to the program. Bitter sweet. She was an angel. I just want to raise awareness because of the shroud of anonymity. People need to know the truth. It’s not safe. If you have a family I would find another path to recovery and definitely don’t take anyone there with you. I did and I didn’t realize I was putting them in danger.
The stories of abuse are horrific, the problem is that people are led to believe that they are in a safe environment..not so. You have a group of people with severe addiction issues, along with possible mental health problems too. I do enjoy my A.A. meetings and have met some lovely friends who are delightful people. My take on this is that you ”TRUST JUDICIOUSLY” If you hear the line, ”You are only as sick as your secrets” don’t fall for it, you are only as SAFE as your secrets. A.A. is not held to ANY manner of confidentiality, sponsor or no sponsor. If you stay in a while (I’m 2 yrs.) you will realize that everyone does the program their own way, some improve while others use it as an excuse for inexcusable behavior. I tend to follow my gut instincts – if it feels wrong, it probably is. Use a good hearty helping of common sense and if you find the program isn’t for you, move on..people can and do and are perfectly able to remain sober.
I was involved with Mike Middleton some years ago. He was great at charming people and portraying himself as a kind, caring, can “clean” person. In my experience, he was a sexual and financial predator. I ended up in therapy not long before our relationship ended. My therapist said to me “He’s a sociopath. Get away from him now”. For the record, we did not meet through NA or any other 12 step program. I was in a vulnerable place when we met and he took advantage of that. I could write a book about the manipulation and cruelty. We had not had contact in a number of years, but the scars are pretty deep. All the news forced me to have to revisit those horrific memories. During the period our relationship finally ended, he was involved in a sexual relationship with someone he was sponsoring. While I am reluctant to write this post, I feel someone who experienced the dark side of this person needs to speak up.
There are many holes in your story. You, a grown man, allow yourself to be manipulated by an old short, fat guy with diabetes? Funny you say you didn’t meet thru 12 step program, yet here you are on this site. Like many on this site, you are just a sour victim looking to put blame on a dead man who can’t defend himself. Shame on you!
Do you know what led up to the murder? So far they do not have a motive. Did you know the NA member killer who killed his sponsor?
Topher- Are you kidding? Shame on You? WHo the heck do you think you are. You sounds like such an abusive stepper. We are not kids. You are not our abusive parent. Get over yourself.
How about STFU. You are not in an AA setting. You dont get to come here and spew your crap!!!
You are not our parents and get off your high horse BS tell this guy something you have no idea about.
awhileback. WOW …Sorry to hear you had this experience. Unlike the poster below who has no compassion, im sorry.
I am glad you came forward and have told us about him. I had a sneaking suspicion about this story.
No one in AA or NA is a professional inside the groups. They are all just lay citizens.
AA has no group facilitators.
Here is a story I was told by an NA Board member. A few years back there was a complaint that a registered Sex offender was secretary of a young persons meeting. The FBI/Police told NA headquarters to tell him to step down. The NAWS said ” oh we can’t do that, we don’t tell our members how to act” …..the FBI/police told them “you tell him to step down or we are going in to get him.” They called the predator and told him to step down. Why do these steppers think they are special and above the law?
The next story is more horrifying. A woman called NA hotline. A man answered the phone. He went over to help her…..and he raped her. At that point NA began to change their service structure seeing that there were serious problems in thinking a group could and would run the big bad Nonprofits that AA and NA have become.
Everyone needs to know that AA and NA and all 12 step programs have no one in charge in each group, that there are no trained facilitators of any kind, and that includes SPONSORS, that the secretaries running the group could also be an oldtimer predator of sorts and are also not trained and that 12 step program/meetings are NOT A PROFESSIONAL SETTING of ANY KIND! This is not the first murder like this. The following story needs to be told and NA and AA need to make safety measures for their own members and they also need to tell Hollywood to stop lying about what goes on in 12 step meetings and it’s culture. We are getting alot of complaints here about controlling and abusive sponsors. The Public at Large needs to know that a Sponsor is just an ordinary AA/NA member. They are not trained, they are not professionals, they could be nuts, they could be scammers, they could be sexual predators. Not only are there NO RULES, no Guidelines or polices in the current AA structure, there is a serious covering up and member on member abuse and non support when an oldtimer abuses a newer person. Not that this is what happened here. We dont know, but we are tired of the opposite approach of giving the credit to AA and NA as if it is some special safe and wonderful place WHICH IT IS NOT!!!
That is what is so troubling is the response from 12 steppers defending AA and covering crime within their groups. They also put so much pressure on the newspapers to not report on AA or NA connected crimes. I am glad to see that this newspaper had the backbone and ethics to report the whole story when no other news agency did. They totally left it out.
Wait, I’m so confused. The article was back up and now it’s down again. What the heck?
It is back up. They keep changing the Headline. It did say victim was a counselor, they corrected that common myth. Just shows how ingrained that is in our society.
Ok great thanks.
JUST HORRIBLE!
Yes… It actually made me feel more afraid for our old friends in AA and NA. Okay…so they are brainwashed, but most of them are dear souls and they do not deserve to be murdered! How dare this be allowed to go on!
I have decided that when my new project starts paying… I am going to start on an e-book…
Sponsorship Safety Booklet:
Twelve Steps to Save Your Life Should You Choose to Sponsor
It will not have any anti-AA slant; just be purely educational and informational. (I mean the TRUTH just ought to be enough, right?)
It will offer common sense advice on how to stay safe in 2013 as opposed to 1930. Sadly, I do not think many of them realize that it is no longer 1930. Bill W. is dead and AA & NA will not come to the rescue if one of the many crazy criminals that are sent to 12 Step programs comes after them.
It will offer examples of cases of assault and murder such as those shared on LeavingAA and NADaytona and OrangePapers…not too much, just enough to get the reader “concerned” about the position that (s)he is putting her/himself in by sponsoring…
It will be a short booklet.
I will make it available online.
If anyone would like to collaborate…just let me know.
Maybe you can share your ideas on this on tonight’s call?
http://antiaaconferencecall.wix.com/antiaa
Even this article is perpetrating the lies of the 12 steps. “For recovering addicts, sponsorship is a complicated, but close relationship.” – as if sponsorship is a necessary part of recovery.
It’s true and distressing what is stated here about how one incident is unlikely to bring about change.
Of course the group does not offer sponsors information on how to protect themselves – they would have to admit the need for protection first. They only brush it off as one unfortunate incident, or nothing like this would ever happen in their group, or this person had their part in this, etc, etc, etc. They would rather blame the victim than take any responsibility for their negligence.
Thanks so much for posting this.
I was very troubled too about the remark that only one incident would create change. As if this is some isolated incident! They are pros at minimizing crime by AA members against fellow AA and NA members.
Just how many people have to be murdered for change to take place?
So glad this newspaper covered this story. All the other news reports do not even mention the AA connection. How typical.
This is a breaking story. Amazing we are finally starting to see newspaper print the truth. Sponsors should be scared as well as sponsees!