Laura Tompkins writes an excellent article spelling out a laundry list of the negative messages sent to members, and how it adversely impacts them. One thing in particular that I was glad to see, as an addiction specialists she strongly discourages the practice of confessing ones sins to another member or sponsor.
” Entrusting a complete stranger who has no training or competency in mandated confidentiality is ill-advised, and yet it is encouraged and practiced every day in AA. “
This practice is particulary dangerous and it also includes that people do a ” sexual inventory” ! This includes asking minors to discuss their sex life to strangers, who very well could be a violent felon or a court mandated sex offender.
Thank you Laura Thompkins for your article to bring awareness to our brainwashed country that AA is the only way!
Certified Addiction Specialist LAURA TOMPKINS
You are only as sick as your secrets.
Sit down, shut up, and listen.
I have to change only one thing — EVERYTHING.
My name is (insert name here), and I’m an… alcoholic.
This is a minuscule sample of the popular sayings you’ll hear at an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting. Negativity, blame, and confessions disguised as recovery inventory and amends are the common thread.
I am an addiction counselor trained at Hazelden Graduate School for Addiction Studies. I read Russell Bishop’s article, “Soul-Talk: You Don’t Have to Be an Addict to Recover,” and I am moved to comment.
If you go to an AA meeting they will tell you the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. They will then require you to announce and declare to the room and God that you are an alcoholic. You are an alcoholic who will never recover. You must never pick up a drink again. They proceed to put you in a no-win position of pronouncing that you are an alcoholic at the beginning of every meeting, and every time you speak at all for that matter. Even if you are announcing that the cookies are running low and you need more money for the bad coffee everyone is swilling, you must announce that you are an alcoholic. A paragraph from Chapter 5 of the AA book is read aloud.
This is what most of my clients hear: Follow us or you will fail. If you do not recover, you are a dishonest and unfortunate idiot, and you were born a dishonest and unfortunate idiot. You will die painfully, full of shame for your innate inability to be honest with yourself. Even worse, if you are mentally and emotionally ill (which is highly probable), you will only recover if you follow our path completely and do not rock the boat.
Mr. Bishop declares that he is not an expert in addiction in a clinical sense. I am an expert, and these are some of my educated and experienced thoughts.
One of the more positive mantras of AA is “Live and Let Live.” It does not diminish that AA worked for one if it did not work for another. If it worked for you, cheers! If it did not work for another, does that have any relevance on your success? Why the need to force your way onto another? Most of us know the famous quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Methinks the devotees of AA doth protest too much. Perhaps Mr. Bishop has answered his own question as to the most sensitive of us being more prone to addictive behavior. (“Live and Let Live,” remember?)
But Alcoholics Anonymous also pushes members into believing that any deviance from the program is a slippery slope, and a relapse is a slow death. Negative? You betcha. Many of those who end up in an AA meeting recover on their own; many are even able to practice drinking in moderation. But AA meetings would never hear from these people since members are not allowed to talk about successful moderation.
A vitally-important concept is the idea of living your life as a label that you and others place upon you. You shackle yourself to a negative label and you can only live as that person, job, or behavior. Who you are is very different from how you behave at any given moment or what job title you currently hold. Just because you are unemployed right now certainly does not mean you are forever unemployed — at least let’s hope not. If you tell a lie or keep a secret, does this mean you are forever labeled sick or a liar? If labels stuck with us, we would all be doomed for there is not one among us who has not left an office with a pen. One of the most common phrases in AA is “Keep Coming Back.” This phrase can produce shame, inferring that they are somehow responsible for the program not working. Those struggling with addictive behaviors are consumed with guilt and shame already.
The steps tell members they are powerless, their life is unmanageable. They must then take a moral inventory, confess to a stranger not qualified to keep confidences, turn their will over to a God of their understanding and ask this God to remove defects of character. They then make a list of all the horrible things they have done to others, make direct amends to said people, continue to admit whenever they were angry, jealous, hurt, or full of self pity, and to sponsor a new member of the program after having a spiritual awakening.
Entrusting a complete stranger who has no training or competency in mandated confidentiality is ill-advised, and yet it is encouraged and practiced every day in AA. That is, if the person gets to the fifth step at all. The majority of people with whom I work do not make it past step three, and they are vilified in AA for not completing all 12 steps. Why stop at step three? The rest of the steps are about personal morality, confession, removal of character defects, discovering personality shortcomings, making amends, and continually turning your will and life over to the care of a higher power. The steps are negative affirmations that keep the alcoholic always in a state of blame and dependent on a higher power, the group and AA meetings.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-tompkins/alcoholics-anonymous_b_1383849.html
This “recovery expert’s” viewpoint is very short sighted and anyone calling AA a cult doesn’t have a clear grasp of what a cult is. In short, AA doesn’t recruit, people come to AA desperate for help. AA is not predatory and has no leader to worship. The author of the Big Book is gone, and members view of him play no place in their status within the organization because there is no status. In fact, many members talk about how Bill Wilson was a shit bag. Cults don’t allow you to leave, and they certainly don’t allow you to come back if you do leave.
I’ve researched AA success rates professionally for several years. I’d like to see where the 98% failure rate was found. My findings are the opposite however inflated due to self-selection bias and constitutency of “membership”. BTW, if someone can “return to controlled drinking” then they aren’t an alcoholic in the first place. AA isn’t the only way, and it’s not for everyone, but it certainly isn’t negative. It’s negative to shit on the premier recovery program available today.
And Lastly….lets have the statistics on your results…completely willing to see the results…sorta like the therapist on prozac telling others how to be fulfilled? or the obese person doling out fitness advIce…let’s see the numbers of a better way…
There have been many studies on outcomes of evidenced based therapy and they are better than the 95% failure rate of 12 step programs. AA is a dangerous religious cult that has no business in the field of addiction treatment.
you’re attitude is evidence enough for me, as we both know that information is readily available. If you do not wish to take the few minutes to look at it, not our problem.
Just take a sec. and go enlighten yourself. Read around too and see that all your pathetic arguments are standard stepper speak. It is very cult like, you sound so angry, and resentful.
look into cognative dissonece, please, you may be helped to understand what you are going through.
Thank you oddness! Who is this stepper trying to convince exactly?! Jeez. They are SO brainwashed!
It’s negativity based? Hm. There are a lot of meetings all over the world so meetings are different. Teaching letting the past go, making restitution for debt or injury, teaching social responsibility and charity – yeah super negative. It does say anything you do Is your call so they don’t have any hard fast rules. And by the way, it’s anonymous. As far as deep sharing that occurs with people who have developed a deep relationship. I guess I could go on and on, but I’m curious what dog Ms Tompkins has in the hunt? As far as therapy, I have found super inappropriate therapists. Ones that wanted to see her patient socially, therapists have sexual relationships with patients, or becoming micromanagers – so should we say that therapists in general are sick individuals?
If therapists are acting not according to the law or withing the standards of their profession people can complain to the appropriate licencing authorities. AA is very very negative based. It does not matter they are in different parts of the world. It is based on the same negative big book. AA does not teach people to be charitable. What a joke! They want members to be slaves to AA and be of service to only AA.
Typical stepper chant — ‘this person who is exposing our cult religion for what it is MUST have something suspicious in it.’
This should serve as a red flag for steppers but of course their minds are so far gone, there is only cult-think available to them. After all, they have been ‘convinced to a man’ whatever the fuck THAT means, that they cannot trust their own thinking and that ‘their BEST thinking’ got them to do all kinds of stupid shit.
Uhhhhh, no. Your WORST thinking did that. Just as your worst thinking now keeps you defending that which is indefensible.
If you defend your ‘program,’ with ad hominem attacks and name-calling … you might be in a cult religion!
Here is Laura Tompkins take on Al-anon Great insight Laura!
The Truth About Al-anon
http://cougarblogger.com/2012/10/23/the-truth-about-al-anon/
Here is a great link where Orange takes Soberlawyer to task for his 12 stepper, blah, blah, blah against Laura Tompkins points on this article!
http://cougarblogger.com/2012/10/21/orange-papers-regarding-my-article-good-stuff/
I certainly agree with this article! The whole institutions, jail or death message is pretty negative! That if you fall off the wagon you will almost certainly face death AA members are told. Or if they do not follow the steps, that will lead you to drink and then you will die ! Alcoholics Anonymous seem so protective over their strangle hold in this country and act very threatened when options other than 12 step programs are mentioned. They seem to expect you to fail, and make fun at the notion that one can either quit on their own, drink in moderation or actually go to a professional addiction specialist who are not 12 steppers.
Beware- there are many 2 hatters out there that are therapists and insist on 12 step meetings as well. If AA is not working for you, run like the wind, and try the many other options out there for sobriety.
http://www.smartrecovery.org is a non 12 step secular program that has free online meetings as well as face to face meetings. If you are interested in starting a meeting in your area, they offer training and support. It is a wonderful free program!