What I find sad about this story is here is a man who wanted to quit drinking, and quit drinking without proper medical treatment. He went to an AA meeting instead and died. People are being sent to AA meetings without the medical help they need to deal with withdrawals from quitting drinking cold turkey. Stop sending people to a religious cult!
Mystery man who died at Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in 2001 was divorcee, 53, who was thrown out of his ex wife’s house and never seen again
- The man had no identification and no one at the Milwaukee AA meeting knew him
- No family or friends ever came forward to positively identify him
- Thanks to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System at the U.S. Department of Justice, the man has been identified as Oliveros Perdomo, 53, and his remaining family notified
Milwaukee Co. officials identify man who died during Alcoholics Anonymous meeting 12 years ago
- Article by: Associated Press
- Updated: December 2, 2013
MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee County officials have identified a man who died more than 12 years ago while trying to get help for his drinking problem at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
No one knew the name of 53-year-old Oliveros Perdomo when he walked into the Milwaukee meeting in 2001, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.
He also had no identification on him when he collapsed beneath a sign that read, “But for the grace of God…”
Tests later revealed he died from a withdrawal seizure due to chronic alcoholism.
“It was like he ran out of breath,” AA member Jose Gonzalez said at the time.
For months, authorities tried to identify him. Police showed his morgue photo to people in the neighborhood where he was last seen. The same photo appeared in newspapers and on television. People searching for missing loved ones became aware of the case, but left the morgue disappointed.
“The case went cold,” said Jenni Penn, an investigator for the Milwaukee County Medical Examiner, “but we never forgot about the guy.”
Interest in the case resurfaced after the medical examiner’s office started loading data onto the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System, or NamUs. It was launched in July 2007 as a national repository and resource center for missing persons and unidentified decedent records.
None of the office’s dozen or so investigators are dedicated solely to identifying unknown bodies, and the office handles about 5,000 cases a year. As time allows, the office reviews dormant cases.
“But a lot of these cases are not solved with technology,” Penn said. “Sometimes they take some elbow grease.”
In October, Penn took Perdomo’s fingerprints to Immigration and Customs Enforcement. No matches were found. Then she recognized that among several possible names listed, Perdomo’s name appeared more than once. Penn also received information on Perdomo from a retired immigration file.
“Before that, the dots did not connect,” she said.
According to the file, a person named Oliveros Perdomo was born Aug. 4, 1947, in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. Seventh Judicial Circuit’s Drug Courts, contact: Michael Jewell Drug Court Manager Volusia County.
A subsequent inquiry to the Social Security Administration revealed a 1992 Chicago address for Perdomo.
Milwaukee County medical examiner’s investigator Anne-Marie Eschle then located a Cook County, Ill., small claims case from 1995 for Perdomo that included a woman at the address named Josefina Perdomo. She had died in 2005, but a request for her death certificate led to a Chicago funeral home, where contact information was obtained on her two sons.
Penn called one of the sons, Alfredo Marquez, who said his mother and Perdomo were married in 1976, and that he had not seen his stepfather since late 2000 or 2001.
Last week, Marquez viewed morgue and immigration photos and confirmed his stepfather’s identity, Penn said.
“This whole thing is like a miracle,” said Jenni Penn, an investigator for the office. “It was like the timing was right. Everyone I asked to help helped.”
Marquez said his mother and stepfather separated over his drinking.
“My mom told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he needs to find somewhere else to live,” Marquez said. “He left the house and never came back.” AA Daytona Beach Intergroup.
When he died, he had no alcohol or drugs in his system. NA Daytona Meetings.
“I think he was trying to get help,” Marquez said. “I think he was trying to get sober and show my mom he was a changed man.” Volusia County Drug Court Program.
On Saturday, Marquez and his brother visited Perdomo’s grave at Pilgrim’s Rest Cemetery, where they finally were able to say goodbye. The brothers plan to install a headstone so their father will be identified permanently.
http://www.startribune.com/local/234006311.html?page=all&prepage=2&c=y#continue
Wow ! But I’m not surprised that those AA steppers did not suggest or even offer to take him to a hospital when he showed up at their’ meeting! This man had to have signs of being in withdraw. What the hell is wrong with those people…nevermind that I experienced those people I know the answer to that! It is comforting to know that his children are able to at least have some closure. This story brings back painful memory of how I landed AA through a court order and almost died due to demand of probation officer sending me there with no choice on the day of my court date for a DUI. I was in very bad shape and should of been taken to a hospital , but was told instead by her if I did not go to a meeting that day and have proof of it by having this paper she handed me signed I would be sent to jail. I was crying and very shaky and agreed with he that i had a problem with alcohol , but i felt like i could’nt breath very well. She then looked at me and said , I suggest you take this very seriously AA is your prayer , so stop making excuses . If I had my way I would have told the judge to put you in jail. She opened a draw in her desk took out this little yellow ,slammed her desk drawer shut -then opened little book looked up a few meetings for that day and with this very mean look on her face , said,” I better see a meeting for today on your paper. Wow typing this is giving me such horrible flashbacks of that day. It’s gut wrenching –
I was in such panic and still so shaky that my fear took over , I called a cab from the courthouse to go to the closest meeting in that book , which was about 25 min away. Forgetting that my son was there to take me home. They did not allow him to go into courtroom when I went before the judge ( un represented / couldn’t afford an attorney at that time) , so all my guilt & fear, ect I had forgotten he was there for me! My son told the probation officer that he was canceling the cab and taking me for medical treatment- She gruffly said to him, ” your mom needs to get a grip she’s to be at a meeting today or I will recommend jail time . So I suggest you get her something to eat and to a meeting. – He got me into his car and said ,I love you mom , its hoing to be alright .I’m taking you to hospital you don’t look good. ” I remember some part of my panicked reaction , I freaked on him crying , some yelling , ” I’m not going to hospital .” Next thing I remember we were in parking spot of ER room and I told him I hate you they are going to put me in jail , she said I have to do a meeting today. – He’s crying , Im crying where both a mess! ” Im so sorry _ _ _ _ ( son) , I love you so much , Im scared , I never meant to heard any of you by drinking my pain away”. Please just take me home , call your brother over and I will come back here – to speed up the story – he drives me home fighting back tears. We get home , my other son is there waiting for us. They get me on couch and calmed down some and warm under blankets. -they go into kitchen to talk- I over hear the one son say I’m calling an ambulance she going to die ,fu** AA , mom needs a hospital she’s in withdraws. — I slipped off the couch quietly , and ran out the front door ,dashed across the street through some houses , and hid behind this shed , called a cab – parts of it are still blank , but my sons told it like this- the cab showed up in our drive way while they where looking for me -from a few houses up they saw the cab pull in by the time they came down the road – I jumped in the cab and was gone . They followed the cab , which lead them into the parking lot of church – I wasn’t able to pay the cab driver I had left with no shoes or purse . My son said he went back to his car to get money , while my other son tried to reason with me. At that point all these people had come over to the cab to see what was going on. He said he told them we got this , thanks! But this one rude speaking lady , kinda pudding him back said, ” is this your mom?” Well if you really love her , then you need to let us take over, she obviously needs to be here, the meeting starts in a few minutes. My son said, this other older looking guy , asked him and his brother ,” are either of you alcoholic , if not i suggest you wait out here and let us get your mother into this meeting.” … I go into the meeting that part I remember ! I was scared, ashamed and now even more shaky . I told the woman I felt sick, asking for the bathroom . She said , ” honey you will be ok, the meeting started, lets get a seat first.” – I never made it through the whole meeting , my son came in to check on me, and took me out of there – followed by this lady , whom offered to be my sponsor. AT THAT TIME I didn’t have no idea what tgat even meant. – somehow she convinced my son to let her follow them to our house and talk with me for a few minutes . My son said , He had no idea that this lady would try and talk me out of letting them take me to a hospital. –well as the story goes on – I quess I stopped breathing , my daughter was at the house at that point and tried breathing into my mouth , pushing on my chest in PANIC,ect – the ambulance arrived – the AA woman disappeared and I wake in a hospital …more confused , scared ,guilt , SHAME, and begin my AA journey! THE NIGHTMARE BEGAN AND I DIDN’T EVEN NO IT! – By the grace& love of Monica , Laura, my children and MYSELF EMPOWERMENT – I’m AWAKE -the nightmare was more than a Bad dream , but it’s over for me & my family ! I left that EVIL CULT Alcoholics Anonymous! I am Free to be and Love me — and free to walk alongside other activists to help educate and empower others to stay away from AA ‘s dangerous cult ! There are many many proven better choices! AND YES !! They have ‘CHOICES ‘ and have the power within themselves to make those choices !
That little story I shared is painful , but just the beginning of the Hell that would unfold in the next 5 1/2 yrs while I was in AA cult! Not saying that all my days and moments in those 51/2 yrs were without joy and beautiful moments ! I did start to heal from my abusive childhood & few other unfortunate situations in past , by reaching out for professional help outside of AA , even though they steppers highly recommended against it! I went back to college , attending less meetings and made my Family/ Me a priority again ! But there was still one Huge problems … I had made the mistake of dating a man that was in the rooms ….humm , I’m sure some of you know the drill/HORROR on that one!!! Yes , unfortunately he knew my past journey , my weaknesses and He being of 10plus yrs of ‘HEALTHY’ Sobriety & ’12 STEPssssssssssss Ahead of me , I’m believing his twisted love and concern for me and my family ! That part of the AA Nightmare journey would later almost lead to the death of my baby girl and if he would of had his way , my death also! I can’t get my little girl back, or the part of me that died that day of losing her , nor can her brother and sisters ! But I can and am healing and I WILL SPEAK OUT LOUDLY & BOLDLY About the SICK , Evil Dangers going on in Alcoholics Anonymous worldwide ! And I know some may try and lash back saying I’m on a ”Personal Vendetta Crusade ‘ , just like they did/ do about a dear friend of mine from LA, but I assure you This I will Embrace there ignorance and USE IT as A positive tool to fuel UP,BOLDLY SPEAKING the Truth that NEEDS URGENTLY told about this cult of Alcoholics Anonymous . Amen
Maria- what a horrible story. Thank the lord you survived! I am going to respond more later today, but I wanted to know I am so sorry you went through this, and AA cared more about meetings than getting you the medical help you so desperately needed.
I will be back later. Take care!
Typing error above – My little girl did pass away , due to this sick man! Hugs to all of you that have lost a loved one to the hands of AA member or AA as a whole . It will take some work & time but you can heal . The pain will surface from time to time, accept and embrace it as love !
Marie- my heart goes out to you and I am so so very sorry for the loss of your little girl by being tangled up with an evil AA member.
I can see how you can relate to this story about Oliveros Perdomo who died in an AA meeting. Well it sounds to me like your sons were on the right track from the start getting you to a hospital. To think you almost DIED because of the mean wicked probation officer and then the people in the AA meeting not realizes or caring just how deathly ill you were. There is no training in AA to prevent this sort of thing. A bunch of untrained, non professionals with many with unresolved emotional problems.
I remember in recent years there was a famous actress that died from alcohol withdrawals. She was in 12 step programs and rehabs. When she died she had no alcohol in her system. Even a rich super famous actress fell through the cracks and did not get the proper medical treatment to stop drinking.
You certainly were in a vulnerable state to get hooked up with an oldtimer. I am so glad you lived to tell about. You are an AA survivor!
I know this story has to be so very painful for you to remember and write about. Thank you for sharing it with others so they know the dangers of 12 step programs and that they are not alone.
Bless you Marie!
Rest in peace Oliveros Perdomo. I am glad your family was able to find some peace and knowing you had quit drinking before you died, even if it was for a short time.